Completely Frustrated

This folder may fill up faster than any other, because I am always having some frustrating emotions about my personal life. Mainly how financially strapped we are, because we have dumped all of our savings and money we don't have into establishing my husbands new business.

*A little Background
My husband is a very creative man, and last year he decided that he would open a media engineering studio for others to use to express themselves creatively with music and video. We understood that this was going to take a lot of upfront investment - with all the equipment needed and personnel. We also went into this with the knowledge that it takes about 3-5 years for a business to become fully operational and successful- operating in the black. But we didn't anticipate the economy to just fall to pieces, so obtaining a credit line to supplement the operation of the business is extremely hard, and people just don't have the discretionary money to spend on creative outlets, like family photo shoots and recorded personal greetings, or songs for their spouses or loved ones. So, that has placed us in a bit of a jam; not to mention that we have moved my mother in law to live near us, so that we can help her manage the 5 grandchildren she has custody of (my sister-in-laws kids) and she can watch my son while my husband and I work. She lives on a very fixed income, so we often have to help her with making ends meet as well. With my husband working for himself, his income is not always steady, and in the current economy, like I mentioned, it is getting harder to cover his expenses at the studio and be able to contribute to our home. Therefore, I am responsible for the majority of the bills with my income. *

I am frustrated because 2008 has been a year of extreme ups and downs with only one major up, the birth of my son. Other than that we have plunged ourselves into debt. We have had to scale back tremendously at home- no frivolous extras at all. My car was stolen, so we are only down to one vehicle, which is also in need of extensive repair- because it just hit 100,000 miles. And I am constantly dealing with building resentment because of all I have had to sacrifice - which makes me feel awful, but everything I enjoy has been eliminated- hair and nail appointments, casually going to the mall, those extra little snacks from the store I like, having my own car, my gym membership, and a land line telephone with internet access at home. All gone. And today, I just found out that because my mother -in-law ran up $150 worth of internet charges on her cell phone and my husband lost a phone last month which created a $50 deductible ( we are on a family plan together) the phone bill is now over $400, which we cannot afford. I just feel it is always something. Problems that I have to deal with, that I don't create. Selfish I know, but that's how I feel. My husbands life really hasn't changed that much- we have to ensure that his business stays a float, so any extra money goes towards his business, which is his only passion .
I am just looking for a little relief and I don't want these problems we are having today to affect my ability to accomplish my goals in the near future.