My husband and I are just not seeing eye to eye on things these days and I am so angry about it. He thinks I'm just complaining about everything, and I just want him to be more considerate of my feelings on the subject of money. I admit I am not the best person to take along if you want to take a risk with money. That's why the stock market is way too scary for me- and as things look nowadays I was about right.
But he just wants me to have faith that all will work out in due time, but it's hard to feel that way, when everyday it seems like it's something else-bad- is happening. And to me this is not the time to be taking a risk with anything. Yes, his business is breaking even and covering the expenses at the lab, but our household has paid a high price because there has been no extra to contribute at the home front.
We agreed that would do whatever we could to make this venture successful for one year. And that year is up in January. I don't want to seem like a dream crusher, especially when we are going into debt to pay for my advanced education, but I just can't take the up and down stress of the whole situation. I'm not cut out for it. Plus, I feel like I was better off in my life 10 years ago. Life is supposed to get better with age, not worse. And I know that you have to make sacrifices for what you truly want in life, but for how long.
I mean our essentials are paid for, but I'm not used to just "making it". My parents have since told me that they did have to struggle sometimes when I was a kid, they just didn't let me know about it, so I hope I get to do the same for my son- or by that time we won't even be in this situation. And I guess when I phrase it like that I'm just complaining about the extras I don't have anymore, which can sound rather selfish and bratty, but I can't help it. Plus, I know times are tough for everyone, and there are others a lot worse off than me- but I can't help but to feel angry for my situation. It's a vicious cycle of anger and guilt that I'm just tired of.
5 years ago